#maybe there's sth im not getting tho idk
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best part about season 3 were the flashbacks to season 1<3
#sorryyyy but uhm. i do not get it#sweet home#spoilers#heli liveblogs#rip s1 you will always be famous to me#i do not understand what s2 + s3 were trying to tell#and the one thing i came back for (eunyu hyunsu and eunhyeok)#were so underused#the sibling reunion was underwhelming and then they did nothing with it#eunhyeok didnt even get an arc#eunyu was completely sidelined at the end#sangwook at least got his justice by taking back his agency#but then idk how to feel about the fire thing when the fire was what took away his family when he was a kid....#yikyung was just a womb after all i guess. and she died in vain bc she couldnt even save her daughter#the relationship between the daughter and hyunsu from s2 was nonexistent#and jisu should've survived i'll die on this hill#and ui myeong died and suddenly everything went uphill??#he was a villain yes but he did not have that big an impact#maybe there's sth im not getting tho idk#the only good thing fr was sangwook taking back his strength#via memories of jaeheon and yuri and hyunsu
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nothing more annoying than a bitch who complains about their favourite artist/song becoming popular or 'tiktok-ified'
#rambling#bitch stfu#you wanna be special so bad 😭😭 youre not the only fan. youre not quirky. youre not unique#i can maybe sort of kind of forgive it when its an indie/small artist or sth#tho even then its like. oh so you dont want that artist to get the recognition they deserve and make more money#bc you wanna be god's special little listener. got it.#but when its BIG artists 💀💀 like MICHAEL JACKSON 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 or the weeknd#bro.#that artist wont pay you a personal visit to fuck you sloppy style for being the only true and og fan. be so fucking for real please#idk its such a pet peeve for me bc im kind of always late to things? like music movies books etc#and theres ALWAYS that annoyingly loud bunch of hyenas w a superiority complex that complains about 'fake fans' or newbies#like oh im sorry i was busy not being born when mj was coming up#or being 12 when the weeknd became popular or i dont fucking know
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something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.
#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol#like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset#and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it#but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all#(just 90%)#also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most.#which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have#and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth#(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves#and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her.#well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol#but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates#the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura.#which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows.#but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it?#also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation#that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes.#like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off.#but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn)#) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both.#except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol)#so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me
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While 'Renan is off finding the holy grail, slaying one and a half high dragons, burning the rotting corpse of the crucified king, and having a personal crisis, Noya is also having A Great Time in the Deep Roads! :) Including but not limited to fun activities such as: nug wrangling, being trapped miles under the earth for weeks on end, finding and killing two paragons, and encountering horrors beyond her imagination that will fuel nightmares for the rest of her life! <3
#i could not be bothered to draw the entire party im sorry </3#she is with leli sten and wynne and mutton tho!#(mutt is their mabari :) )#they're taking a lot longer than expected obviously bc who would have thought they'd have to start a whole ass deep roads expedition#so renan gets a bunch of stuff done in the mean time#(well maybe not *that* much but he does return to redcliffe w the ashes & do morri's request & return to ostagar)#the plan was to regroup in redcliffe but cos the others are taking so long they decided to send a messenger & go do sth instead of waiting#oc: noya tabris#my ocs#my art#id in alt#also. i like to think that the archdemon dream happened when noya was in the dead trenches#like when noya sees the archdemon in person is also when ali & renan have that dream abt it feeling super close & like its looking at them#idk i just that that would be cool#dunno yet where i want to put the tamlen thing timeline wise yet though#bc i'd kinda like for noya to be there for that
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oh also. there’s a little ghibli marathon during a film festival next month and i’m wondering if i should go….
#bc either way i’m going to see princess mononoke bc i’ve never seen it before and i think it’ll be fun on a big screen#the marathon tho hmmmmm#it’s on a tuesday for some reason and starts at i think 10.30#so i think it should finish at idk 4 or 5????#and i have a class at 9.45 that day#i probably won’t go home but maybe i’ll get keys to my sisters apartment and crash on her couch for a few hours or sth#it probably won’t be many ppl bc of the day huh#and it’ll be spirited away howl and mononoke#im not even that big on ghibli but after seeing boy and the heron in the cinema sth changed in me these movies look great like that#i kind of wish they were playing ponyo instead of spirited away but whatever ig#there’s a few other movies i want to see during the festival but idk if i’ll have the money#there’s also a horror marathon including chainsaw massacre and some cronenberg movie i’ve never seen but i don’t think i have it in me to do#2 of those marathons are taxing#i’ll have to check ticket prices again#the longer i think abt it the more i want to do it ngl#i will probably go alone which isn’t ideal for sth like this but oh well#the bigger problem is that i’ve been going to sleep earlier so idk if i’ll last#📓
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I mean we can hang and just talk too but i dont want to do that too much
What about once every half year
#i wont fucking speak up about the same thing over and over again if theres nothing in it for me from you anyway#maybe im the problem when ppl (2) end up like this with me#just say you dont like to hang with me that much#theres so much one can do together EVEN if you dont want to talk only IF thats the issue and IF theres a will and want#there r other higher priorities#mine#her#“it doesnt seem like it but youre one of my closest friends” ye it doesnt seem like it#idk how close friends are to you and idk how close i am to you actually#im just feeling insufficient and not enough and ik you keep me at a distance#which i feel is unfair and im jealous#but i dont wanna be entitled or blow up on you like others do tho you treat them the same and or better#which is a kind trait of you#but maybe be kind to yourself too#i dont want to be just another person that demands shit from you and treats you as if they own you#(only in bed kek jkjk)#im fucking jel of her best friend whos in love with her and still gets to be this close cuz its her best friend#and cuz hes no danger to whatever to her and if i was him itd feel like its a r*********** s******** to me without certain things ofc#no wonder he feels entitled and allows himself a lot cuz he can#some things are better not said anyway#its both true that i mightve deserved a slap for sth i said but also that i was just worried and biased
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Rainstuck 4th and final part of the classpect reasonings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
putting these 4 together bcuz i feel like kurumis and desuhikos analysis dont even deserve their own post bcuz of how unsure i am abt them, halaras too kinda. i also dont have any additional drawings for them so! theres that i guess. more notes in read more if u care...
pt.1 pt.2 pt.3
im kinda bummed that i couldnt rlly incorporate their fortes into the classpects in form of powers bcuz that would make this like 3 times more awesome. buuut it would be so hard to try and make it all work in a way that both their personalities And the powers would make sense for them as characters AND the classpects. so i had to choose and i think matching their personalities was more important. idk
im most happy with vivia. i feel like i could find sth better for halara but honestly i kinda dontttt care for halara that much in general so i probably just dont understand them enough to properly analyze them. desuhiko being heart-bound is nearly perfect if u ask me. maybe i could find a better class for him. kurumi as a heir of space is like... fine. i think i made it work and its enough but again theres probs another classpect that fits her better that i just cant figure out! oh well.
i mentioned grimdark vivia but after refreshing my memory on the horrorterrors i realized that they only communicate with derse dreamers. i could go around it somehow and say that maybe bcuz of his connection to ghosts and shit he could access the outer gods DESPITE not dreaming on derse???? idk, its a bit of a stretch. maybe he could have 2 dream selves! a wink towards his forte? this is homestuck we're talking abt. why should i look for logic here.
another idea for his dream self is that i think it would be fun if he could wake up on prospit pre-session despite not being a space player (tho im not 100% sure thats even canonically a space player thing). "hes just special like that" right. lol but yeah this guy would enjoy prospit i think.. snoozing a lot just like jade and escaping into the perfect peaceful moon world... kurumis there too like "how did he GET here" i dunno im just thinking out loud at this point ermmm
#grghhghh brain overheat#rainstuck#rain code#homestuck#hs#mdarc#master detective archives: rain code#raincode#vivia twilight#halara nightmare#desuhiko thunderbolt#kurumi wendy#classpect#classpect analysis#sylph of void#seer of hope#page of heart#heir of space#catfood art
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every now and then i get comments on some of my older rants about totk and im pretty sure its usually the very first post without any of the additions i tend to add later on-
old post about how i found it a lil weird that the one of the first things rauru and sonia doing is put zelda back into a little white maiden dress even tho her own clothes didnt look damaged at all and were far more practical and someone commented that its so she doesnt stand out (something that was said in nearly every comment i got on that post already) and that it was only weird bc i was making it weird or sth xD
but it made me think about it again, so .... that excuse doesnt work for me at all bc .. why wouldnt she want to stand out? whats the danger of that? her suddendly appearing out of nowhere, not knowing anything of the traditions or happenings of the time, being around the king and queen all the time with a duplicate enigma stone and unknown technology (purah pad) isnt weird? i know the excuse of oohoho shes a distant relative of sonia (i know its far stretched techinically true i guess) but why even do that, why go to such lengths of keeping her time traveling secret? making her less of a target for gan isnt really sensical either bc he went for sonia anyway, despite zelda clearly being the younger and less experienced of the two with less control of her power, and if he knew she was techinically more powerful .. well then shes even less in danger, and if he might have wanted to get information from her what could he have gained from it really? she didnt really know anything more anyway? like all she could tell him would be like you will lose i guess lol
(also you could keep it secret from him but why from the others, i just dont see the point, i dont find her look pretty either, she just looks uncomfortable, like if she gets put in to a lil white uwu maiden dress AGAIN im just gonna assume ok you are stripped of all your agency and will sacricifce yourself again wahoo what fun)
in a world were time magic is normal why wouldnt you just say yep she literally came from the future to help us? the usual rules of time travel, as in, dont tell anyone who you are, dont mess with the happenings bc everything can have major consequences, doesnt apply anyway, she goes around by her real name and is involved in literally every major happening .. so why care?? keeping it secret from gan for the future? why? he literally recognizes her within a split second anyway
(no gonna get into why i think her time travelling in the first place is like .. so forced? its only segway to put her out of the game essentially and the oh no tragic twist, but like why, she got the powers and the stone so she unconcisouly travels ... back in time ..?? why not reverse the stones she fell from or something, if it was soemthing that would come up again ok! like she did the time travel accidentally and then learned how to return over the time she spent in the past thats good!! i like that idea, but its never broguht up again, the closest thing to it is the weird two time bubbles that just serve to give you her time powers (whats up with how that went down anyway) and then to send the mastersword back ... why even do that when it could have fallen and travelled back with her right away?? and both of those are at the very start of the game AND IT NEVER COMES UP AGAIN, like fine if it was her trying to go back but not getting it right so she creates weird ass time bubbles cool! why not put them all over the place with them getting bigger and maybe being able to talk to link from the past idk SOMETHING- ok ill stop here ...)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#i just keep finding things that are neat build ups or whatever and then its NEVER FOLLOWED UP ON#i HATE being made to care about soemthing and then it all being dropped without a word#like i feel betrayed and cheated on for caring about stufff in this game#like with impa hell yeah lets research a way to bring zelda back wowooo and then its nothing#its just .. doesnt matter lol#yes im mad#bc i CARE ABOUT THIS FRANCHISE#botw WORKED with its setting and worldbulding an themes#totk doesnt and its driving me nuts
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3, 11, 19, 23, and 25 ❤️
hi<3
3. omg i don't have a screenshot but i recently saw someone claim that dick grayson sucks because he's homophobic and they had one or two completely random comic panels trying to back that claim up? WILD. that was an immediate block
11. this one isn't limited to just dc so i have like over 100 filters lmao. a lot of them are those "__ x reader" ones tho because i engage with a ton of formula 1 content and there's a lot of that in there
19. i'm mad and very very ashamed that i'm actually intrigued by the whole dick grayson as renegade or deathstroke's apprentice concept. i know that it's primarily popular because of the animated show and the actual time in canon dick was "renegade" was him training rose but i'm kind of into the idea of an odd month or summer or sth during those robin years where dick is forced to apprentice for slade and actively hates himself and slade for every second of it. not in a shippy way or even a very whump-torture-galore way but just for the rancid vibes. i'm not proud of this
23. oooh. i don't rlly think there is a ship like that for me- if i decided not to like a ship, i have stayed not liking it. first and foremost, i am a hater. (if we're talking non-dc, maybe blair and dan from gossip girl. i absolutely hated that ship when i saw the show as a teen but i have come to appreciate it now)
25. alr answered!! but like i said, first and foremost, im a hater so i'll happily give u another one- devin grayson gets crucified waaaay too much. like yeah she did problematic things with dick's character and his supporting cast in nw'96 and a lot of it was based in her own warped experiences with race and sexuality and gender, but i don't usually see any other writer getting sooooo much hatred. like, yeah man she wrote some seriously problematic stuff and we should hold her accountable for all of it!!! but she also wrote some excellent issues in the nw run itself, not to mention other comics- titans 99 my beloved, a good chunk of gotham knights etc. idk i've truly not seen the same level of vitriol for other writers who have also perpetuated horrible stereotypes and their own problematic world-views.
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Girlybro theres this post and it reminded me sm of leander! Its by frankiecorleone and it says ‘an ouroboros is the opposite of a pearl’ and jejdjdjejdjs i looked up pearl symbolism and its associated with the moon(goddess) but also with marriage. In relation with the ouroboros, a pearl is basically a hard core made by a cycle of creation right? Something that entered a shell by accident gets covered by many many layers,, which is like an outward creation instead of a self-negating and creating one.
(This is me just going off like a madman btw)
SO theres this lyric in bjork’s atopos that goes like ‘If we don't grow outwards towards love
We'll implode inwards towards destruction
If my plant doesn't reach towards you
There's internal erosion towards all
Pursuing the light too hard it's a form of hiding’
But also ‘hope is a muscle that allows us to connect’
AND like,, i already talked about leander and hope vs faith (faith consumes hope = ouroboros = no connection!!!)
But with the pearl (i think we as mc should embody it,, thats my hc anyway) its accident (birth, curse??) gets covered in layers of stuff (should be hope) creating a hard gem outwards (reaches outwards to connection)
idk about the shell tho. Is the shell the world??Is that a reason for leander to be so protective and all consuming? Him knowing theres has to be some cover needed for connection (and ideally him controlling it and creating it,, or at least redistributing what is) but failing to realise the destruction he causes?
ALSO (sorry) atopos calls out obsessions with reciprocity
‘To insist on absolute justice at all times
It blocks connection’
Another reason for leander failing to connect with ppl and maybe even the world!!
This is either rlly smart or a total mess idk,, also happy new year!!! — musa (deranged)
Woah happy new year thank you for leander food! I love when ppl talk abt all the possibilities w touchstarved so hell yeah. He sure is SHELLtering us (you can hit me for that its ok). We do be like a pearl, as we have something of value he would want to cultivate.
Im going to keep it 💯 hope, faith, outwards towards connection are stuff my singular brain cell is overclocking to even begin to comprehend but i can see youre onto sth esp w how much ure able to connect it w (im sure others reading this will get it way better than i am rn 💀)
I rly enjoy all this use of symbolism and metaphor its delicious
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also today (i am writing this post so i do not forget these ideas) lauren and i spent like a full hour or two talking about a jean/scott/logan fic where the premise is basically that jean and scott's relationship gets extremely codependent and toxic bc she can literally read his mind, Is Not Supposed To Be reading his mind with the regularity she is & scott is quite autistic and in the middle of a sexuality crisis bc he is somewhere on the ace/demi spectrum but this fic takes place in like 2004 or sth idk so none of those words are actually used everyone is just horrible to each other
some of my favorite scott-related scenes from this tho include 1) post-implosion everyone is like "scott bro are you good" and he does have an actual real "im not good enough what is even the point of me" type of meltdown but it does not make him feel any more stable & someone's like "man you really need to take care of yourself" and hje is like shit you are right. i need to take care of myself. i will go do an activity that i enjoy. so he goes bowling, which is an activity he makes enough time to do like maybe once a year despite the fact that he owns his own bowling shoes. so he goes bowling alone at like 3pm on a tuesday and there is a bar there and he gets absolutely fucking hammered. just little guy in his shiny shoes and his polo and his lil red glasses getting absolutely trashed on cosmos or some shit. he is the only man in the bowling alley. logan finally shows up to be like "hey xavier is putting u on forced vacation bc ur freaking everyone out" and as soon as he walks in the employees, whomst are Actively Gossiping, are like "omg that's gotta be sad guy's boyfriend act cool"
there is also a bit much later where jean and scott try to take logan on a date and it goes very poorly, including hijinks such as: getting into scott's car and jean being like "scott logan is the guest he's not going to sit in the back" and logan being like "scott you're not putting your gf in the Back Seat for a date" and scott being like "Under No Circumstances Is Logan Allowed To Drive My Car" so jean's like "fine you drive and me and logan can sit in the back" and scott's like "ive been cuckolded enough thanks not ur fucking taxi driver" so logan's like "i'll just take my motorcyle and meet yall --" and jean just takes the keys from him and tells the boys to get in the backseat and scott's just "like we're your kids" and that is how they drive to the fancy restaurant
#scott also behaves autistically in the restaurant it is a great time#he and logan go on a road trip and he behaves autistically in restaurants then too#logan is like this sad pathetic little man is so fucked up. time to fix him.#logan makes him listen to country music and play pool in bars and gets them into at least one (1) pub fight#they also go to niagara falls!#i think logan would think the beauty of nature is deeply healing
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omg I don't think I sent you any ?s for the ask game??? what a dink i am. If you've already answered these, pick some ones you didn't get asked yet <3
🌊What moment in the game had the strongest emotional impact on you?
💧Is there a ship you wouldn’t write yourself, but love reading?
🔥Is there an aspect of the game’s story that you think it could have done better?
heyyy! no worries!
🌊What moment in the game had the strongest emotional impact on you?
first time I reached the ansur plot and the fact that there's a dragon and we could make him our ally and then the backstory with the emperor - that hit me HARD. i loved it. it quite literally had me with my jaw open for majority of the thing
and then i got robbed. why is the game forcing me to kill the dragon? 😭 noo, i don't wanna!
💧Is there a ship you wouldn’t write yourself, but love reading?
hmmm🤔 maybe in a way anybody / astarion? bc I do enjoy him with tav / durge and some others but i don't really write him.
he is tricky for me to write. the most im gonna have in my current wip is have him sort of pine sort of long after tav but very lowkey? less abt romance and def not abt desire but very intense feelings of wanting.... approval is not the right word, idk how to explain it better. the one thing he and halsin share in my fics is feeling indebted to tav. i enjoy astarion still having that anxiety that if he's not useful tav will kick him to the curb and a vibe i got from one fic i read how they all are strays taken in by tav or durge. so that. whatever you make of that XD
ultimately tho, i love other charas that have a spoonful of fics dedicated to them specifically compared to the bathtub that astarion has, so i don't particularly care abt writing any astarion -centric fics
🔥Is there an aspect of the game’s story that you think it could have done better?
i mean. wyll and karlach. abso-fucking-lutely. granted i haven't reached the epilogue since it's been added 😩but their stories should have some proper conclusions WITHIN the game not off camera in the epilogue if you squint maybe. you know?
other than that i wish there was a way where friendship + high approval is treated more like partnered dynamic by the game. like, i have 98 approval and companion is highly open to my suggestions, but won't do x simply bc we haven't kissed / fucked. that's bullshit.
also idk maybe it's me and not being familiar with that type of games but i remember being frustrated the first time around that i fucked up the tiefling party romance offer and by the time i realized THAT was the trigger i was deep in act 2 or sth and i WANTED that romance 😩 i had to console myself awkwardly fucking the emperor. yay me.
thank you for asking these!! 💛
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Get to know you better game!
tagged by ham my friend ham @fuhosh-i <3
Last song: no idea what the title is but that song by bruno mars and lady gaga i think? i wasnt the one connected to the speaker tho so i might be wrong
favourite colour(s): yellow forever and ever and ever ��🌻
watching: after taking a break due to both of us Being Busy and Away my sister & me are continuing our black sails rewatch and i am having so very many thoughts about everything! other than that im still making my way through spy x family, letterkenny, shoresy and if i could find the rest of the episodes somewhere i would finish the faceoff nhl doc but eh it is not looking v likely rn. as im writing this i also realised i still havent watched hotd's s2 finale bc for some reason i did not feel like continuing after the penultimate episode and then i just. forgot. oops!
last movie: genuinely no idea. it might happen that it was the fourth of the new planet of the apes movies like a month or two ago when i marathoned them w my brother which feels wrong i swear i watch movies more often than this but i genuinely cannot remember anything since then
sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury my beloved. deftiges essen >>>>>> alles andere
relationship status: single but i have too much shit going on to even think about a relationship rn so thank god
last thing i googled: maybe ive looked up sth since then but today at breakfast i looked up the etymology of the german words devise (motto) to see if it has a latin or a french root (both, which tbh i shouldve seen coming). shoutout to duden.de meinem freund und helfer
last video game: i am v much not of the gamers temperament so idk its name but i tried one of those games that come free w ur netflix subscription, immediately failed hard at like the 2nd challenge and have not touched any game since 👍 this was 2 months ago
tagging @liquoricelesbian @fuzzyhologramdetective @woncheolist (ik ham already tagged u but shhh) @ericbogosbian @gear65 @zaegreus
#thank u ham for giving me an opportunity to fulfil my lifes destiny: be a yapper#im getting such a good grade in being a mutual today bc im finally doing all the tag games#about me
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Yes yes it's only two episodes so far. Tomorrow we will have another one but any thoughts on Nandor's possible arc this season? The babygirl is finally happy but there is something more there?
Ok so its a well-known fact that nandor's gonna have a jealousy arc this season (or at least that's what the reviews were saying --which were for the first 4 episodes only -- and we got a glimpse of sth in the promo for ep 3.)
And yes!! Nandor seems to be happy so far and he even said 'i'm in a good place' (which kinda echoed what Guillermo had said in s4 when he was talking about freddie? Hmm). And we also got that line from kayvan saying 'Guillermo makes nandor happy -' BUT. He added that but now he's making him sad.
Which made me think of Gail. Remember Nandor's reaction to gail basically cheating on him with that werewolf dude? He looked heartbroken and sad and miserable. During s3 i said sth about how nandor doesn't get jealous in the traditional sense, you know, getting angry, getting possessive and idk, vengeful? probably bc he thinks he deserves to be treated like that. Like, he doesn't deserve to be loved so he just gets immensely sad over it. (I just remembered that the whole gail thing was also Guillermo's jealousy arc, and how his jealousy was more of the traditional sense. Oh boy)
But with Guillermo. Idk if what he feels for Guillermo can be compared to what he felt for gail (as a side note, i read someone say nandor will never be romantic with Guillermo bc the guy doesn't know how. Which is not true?? Remember gail? Hell, even jan? He was also kinda romantic with marwa in the beginning even tho he didn't actually love her. Also Harvey said Nandor's lovely when he's in love which is so true. And how can you think the whole bedtime stories and exchange of gifs and movie watching on rainy nights aren't ramantic? Anyway) so yeah. I think what he feels for Guillermo is way more intense and life-altering than what he felt for any other character we know of. So maybe his jealousy this time will take a new form? But im also betting he's gonna be super sad and heartbroken about it. Even if he tries to hide it under other emotions. Nandor will always think 'i don't think i deserve to be loved.'🥺
#tbh i don't like jealousy trope#like at all#i don't find jealousy cute or romantic i think its a very self-entitled feeling#but anyway i hope whatever happens its gonna be fun#and not just angsty drama#wwdits better leave that to us fanfic writers!!! lol#wwdits#nandor the relentless#what we do in the shadows#wwdits spoilers#wwdits s5#nandermo#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits asks
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my parents want me to get the docs and are offering to get them for me as a christmas present but uhhhh idkkk theyre still expensive and my main concern is till that ill stop wearing the old ones :(((
#bc i dont like having good clothes that i dont wear and my docs are wayyy to used up to give them away#and ive only had them for 5 years thats not that long#stupid online queer spaces and their stupid jokes abt platform docs being inherently cooler and more fashionable and more visibly gay#idk what i expected from my parents tho bc they always tell me to get stuff which is freat that we have the money for that#but sometimes im asking bc im hoping theyll tell me sth is not worth it#like i dont need new shoes plus its unsustainable and i dont want to succumb to consummerism more than i already have#so yeah ig im not buying them hopefully the sale will end soon so im not tempted anymore#sorry i had to write this down as a way to reason with myself more efficiently <3#plus i want books for christmas shoes would be stupid#and the money i have that i could pay for them with im saving up for#uhh sth ig i dont really have an idea#ig maybe a tattoo or a piercing#speaking of which i hate ig soo much but its the easiest way to contact tattoo artists........ this is hell and its inescapable#dante yells#sorry ik this is annoying and unrelatable and a complete non issue
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Idk if i could ever actually live together with anyone because 1) i need like 6hours of alone time per day to function bc otherwise i crumble and die 2) if i live w someone i always am on high alert bc i am afraid of disappointing them if i dont do enough during the day. i never know whats expected of me. I think this is sth to do with my dad 3) i listen to music 24/7 and i can imagine it gets really fucking annoying listening to hyperpop or screamo from the moment i awake till i sleep 😭😭 4) im so weird about food and it freaks me out if i dont have control over it (this is something therapy could maybe fix. maybe. dont have time for it tho)
I just think i would die or guilt bc i dont do things during the day and im weird and i like being alone
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